The Well-Rounded Toybox

All about the toys, from a queer, kinky fatty's perspective.

mysubmissivekisses:

whatmakesaspanko:

As the main goal of the blog was to invite, embrace and educate those on spanking - Here is another post to discuss the variety of spanking or discipline that can help define your likes and needs.

Many who are looking to explore spanking and discipline do so for a variety of reasons. For simple sexual foreplay - or to go back to a more steady role in the house where there is a dominant and submissive person and the discipline is in the form of a “head of household” - to those who need to have those times of being called out for their attitude or tone - to be held accountable - for true discipline - to those then who want to explore the more intense form of punishment that begins to move towards BDSM.

As i post more - the goal is that as you wander through this blog - you decide if you want to explore a form of spanking or discipline, then to define what type you wish to explore - and then as we progress, to see what implements you can try - how they are used and how they can affect your body and mind.

There is a tutorial on belt spanking - and many pictures and videos to help you decide which type or types you might be interested in.

So, if you have come this far - and decide you wish to explore punishment in some way - try to see which of the four you want to start at - and work your way through. Make sure you and your partner understand the roles (for both of you) for Roleplay spanking, Therapy spanking, Punishment spanking and Hardcore spanking.

Bottom line - be open, be smart - and learn that trust and communication is key to the success of your adventure! Have Fun!

I think I’m definitely in need of a therapy spanking.

(via blackqueerandkinky)

lacigreen:

thephotogfeminist:

burningbells:

imageIf you need Plan B, here’s a printable $10 off coupon. 

It doesn’t expire either! It’s a continual offer

HELPFUL THING

(via baronmagdalene)

safeword:

misslayton:

image

The fantasy is that I’m his whore, always wet, always ready, always hungry for cock. In reality, I’m just a girl with good days and bad. Bridging this gap isn’t always easy: it’s hard to say no, and hard to hear no. And not saying no when it should have been no sucks even more.

To help us with this, Edge suggested a system of nonverbal communication. I now have four collars in different colours to indicate my mood.

  • Black - up for anything.
  • Red - yes to sex, maybe a bit of rough but not too much degradation/humiliation.
  • Pink - up for playful games and grabs, but not feeling super hot.
  • White - yes to hugs and cuddles!

Of course, because they are all collars, they also communicate that I am his. 

It seems to work OK. Any of you use something like this?

this acknowledges that saying no is allowed, but that people can often by shy about saying it, and sets up systems for adding communication. with the express acknowledgement that human will can still supercede the system (like, wearing a black collar but still being like ‘no wait actually… not so rough right now’ and that will be respected) then this is an awesome system!!!! anything that acknowledges that sometimes it’s hard to say no, but also that being capable of saying no is really really important, and seeks ways to make that communication easier, is a good system in my books.

amazing. thank you for sharing this!!!

saravegas:

I can’t stop laughing.

(via baronmagdalene)

“It’s important to clarify that sex education that teaches about pleasure doesn’t have to teach about technique (though elective college-level sex education that does this is great). Letting teens know that women usually achieve orgasm through the rubbing of the clitoris, whether fingers, mouth, object, or penis, isn’t the same as screening an instructional video on giving good cunnilingus. It’s not the same as writing down the names of sex-toy shops on the blackboard, or handing out diagrams of cool and exciting coital positions. And teaching that lubricants reduce pain and increase safety and pleasure during many kinds of sex should be thought of not as performance advice, but on par with vital lessons about condom use.

Real sex education is not the same as porn education. Instead, it’s about teaching that pleasure is an important part of any sexual relationship. It’s about teaching that there is nothing wrong with wanting to feel sexual pleasure and seeking it out, so long as it is done safely and responsibly. It’s about teaching comfort with one’s body and a lack of shame over desires, and there is more to sex for all people than sticking penises into vaginas. Real sex education teaches how to go about making intelligent , safe choices, rather than just stating the choices available. I believe there is a big difference. And I believe that teaching teens to make smart choices about sex must involve teaching them that having sex, partnered or alone, can be a smart choice”.

Real Sex Education by Cara Kulwicki in Yes Means Yes

(via fem-blog)

(via pervertsofcolor)

S&M is currently in the DSM (heh, you see what I did there?). My understanding, however, is that S&M occupies a strange space within the much-edited manual. S&M is no longer listed as all-disorder-all-the-time, though it once was. But if a person has an urge towards S&M, and that person feels unhappy about it, then it is classified as a disorder. In other words, an S&Mer is labeled “healthy” if she’s happy about S&M, and “unhealthy” if she’s unhappy about it.

Actually, this is basically the spot that homosexuality occupied for a while. And the reason homosexuality was taken out is the same reason S&M should be taken out: because a person who wants a completely consensual type of sexuality, and who is unhappy about it, is probably better off working to change the unhappiness rather than the sexuality. Like homosexuality, S&M is stigmatized and misunderstood. A person who is stigmatized and misunderstood is likely to be unhappy, but that doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with her.

daisyanatomy:

daisyanatomy:

seeing videos/art depicting the Closeted Trans Boy using ace bandages to bind makes me so angry. have the character wear two sports bras on top of each other or two tank tops or just baggy clothes?? stop promoting the idea that it’s ok to bind with bandages if you don’t have a binder. a lot of people don’t know how harmful it is.

this got a lot of notes so i figured it would be a good idea to add some links describing what safe binding is and resources for alternative binding methods

three hundred people have already reblogged this post and it would mean the world to me if you all reblogged it again with this new information. a lot of trans people dont have access to binders or know the dangers about binding, especially young trans people and those who have just started to identify as trans—this knowledge could help them immensely and save them (and their bodies) from unnecessary harm 

happy binding

(via bodypositivityforguys)

thismighthurt:

Images from my collaboration with Heather Corinna at Scarleteen, All the Barriers, All the Time!

Sex toys, like people’s bodies, can also carry, harbor and transmit pathogens. Many can’t be boiled, and are made of porous materials that pathogens like hanging out in. If you want to be safe with your toys, even when you’re the only one using them, you want to cover any toy that can’t be boiled or otherwise safely and effectively sanitized, and use a new barrier with every use. Ideally, you don’t want to be sharing most toys, but if and when you do share, or plan to, using barriers is important for everyone’s best health. Using barriers with toys also often makes cleaning them and keeping them clean a whole lot easier!


Condoms cover dildos and other long-shaped toys well, and you can also drop a small, corded vibrator, like bullet styles, into a condom and cover it that way. For sleeves or pumps, toys meant for the insertion of penises, you simply use a condom like you would for intercourse while using it. If you are using household objects for masturbation, they very much should be covered, but even if they are, they shouldn’t be shared. For several reasons, some pretty basic etiquette and good-neighborliness among them.”

- Heather Corinna, All the Barriers, All the Time!

(via averyawkwardgentleman)

ddlgdoodles:

Impact play is a common kink that’s practiced in D/s dynamics and S&M. It can be a form of punishment, teasing, and funishment. Spanking is the most well-known form of impact play either with hands and brushes. However, other objects can be used depending on the amount of pain or bruising that wants to be inflicted.

Short range vs Long Range:

Short range objects include hand, brush, ruler, belt, paddle, or anything that requires you to stand fairly close to the spankee.

Long range objects include canes, crops, whips, cat o nine tails, and floggers.

Safety:

  • Practice before engaging in impact play if you’re using long range or hard equipment.
  • Always have your partner’s consent and a safe word. If you don’t have a safe word, use these colors:
    red = stop
    yellow = slow down or pause
    green = resume the scene
  • If the spankee is gagged or cannot speak, use a hand signal as safe words.
  • If you’re using a whip, practice with it before using it on someone. Aiming isn’t as easy as it looks and you could accidentally injure your sub/bottom.
    Also keep in mind that whips can break skin!
  • Never hit the following areas:
    Mid back - Your kidneys are located here
    Tailbone
    Spine
    Hips
  • These areas can be hit but with caution:
    Face (only with your hand)
    Crotch/genitalia
    Inner thighs
    Breasts/chest
  • If you spank someone with a cane or whip and the spankee bleeds, clean your equipment before using it on someone else.

A good thing to remember is that fatty areas work well with harder spankings and objects, while boney areas should not be hit with hard objects (like brushes and paddles) and should be hit moderately and lightly.

Don’t be afraid to attend dungeons and observe how others use their toys and ask questions.

Aftercare:

Aftercare is extremely important. Not only could you have bruises and welts to soothe but you have to treat subdrop also. If you’re not familiar with subdrop or subspace, refer to this post or read on Google.

Having an aftercare kit is a good start. It should include an icepack, wet cloths, bandaids, a blanket, water and Gatorade, pain relievers, and energy food.

Do not leave your sub or bottom alone after a scene. Hold them, hug them, kiss them, cuddle them or anything that lets you know that you love them and soothes them.

If you’re shaking, feeling lightheaded, panicking, or hyperventilating you should lie down and relax. I recommend taking deep breaths where you breathe in from your nose, hold it in, and then exhale until the next breath comes naturally. This is something that I was taught to do for panic attacks. This should help the tremors (shaking) stop, help you calm down, and bring your heart beat and breathing back to normal.

(via baronmagdalene)

pro-choice-or-no-voice:

To start off Birth Control Appreciation Day, I decided to make an informative masterpost on contraceptives! I hope this helps anyone who may want more information on their birth control or someone trying to decide what kind of birth control is best for themselves! Happy (birth control) hunting! - Paige
DIFFERENT TYPES OF BIRTH CONTROL:
Birth Control Pills - [x] [x]
Mini Pill (Progesterone-only Pill) -  [x]
The Patch (Ortho Evra) - [x] [x]
The Shot (Depo-Provera) - [x] [x]
Birth Control Sponge - [x] [x]
Vaginal Ring (Nuva Ring) - [x] [x]
Spermicide - [x] [x]
Implant (Implanon and Nexplanon) - [x] [x]
IUDs (Mirena, Skyla, and ParaGard) - [x] [x]
Condoms (Male and Female) - [x]
Withdrawal (Pullout Method) - [x] [x]
Diaphragm - [x] [x]
Breastfeeding - [x]
Cervical Cap - [x] [x]
Sterilization (Male and Female) - [x]
Abstinence - [x] [x]
Fertility Awareness-Based Methods (FAMs) - [x] [x]
COMMON QUESTIONS ABOUT BIRTH CONTROL:
Do certain medications make my birth control less effective?
Can I delay or eliminate my period with my birth control?
Will my pregnancy tests come out with an accurate result while I’m on birth control?
Can I use several birth control pills at once in replace of an emergency contraceptive?
Does birth control cause weight gain?
What should I do if I miss a pill?
What should I do if the condom breaks or slips off inside of me?
If I’m on the ring or the patch and I forget to replace it on the right day, do I need to use backup?
I’ve heard that the birth control ring can pop out. What should I do if this happens?
Can birth control increase my risk of getting cancer?
Can you change your mind after having a tubal ligation or vasectomy?
Is it normal to spot or bleed in between periods while on birth control?
Does certain hormonal birth controls affect my blood pressure?
Can being overweight affect my birth control’s effectiveness?
Can certain birth controls lower my libido?
EMERGENCY CONTRACEPTIVES:
Types of EC: Plan B / Ella / ParaGard IUD - [x] [x]
What are emergency contraceptives?
How do they work?
How well does it work?
What are the side effects?
When should I take an emergency contraceptive?
Are emergency contraceptives less effective the heavier you are?
If I am under the age of 18 in the US, can I buy emergency contraceptives without my parent’s knowledge or consent?
If I take an emergency contraceptive today, am I covered if I have unprotected sex tomorrow?
Will taking emergency contraceptives too many times affect my fertility?
To find more questions and answers about emergency contraceptives, you can go here.
Información anticonceptivos de emergencia es disponible en Español, aquí.
OPTIONS FOR PEOPLE WITH ALLERGIES AND/OR CERTAIN PREFERENCES:
Condoms for people with latex allergies.
Condoms for vegans. [x] [x] [x]
Other vegan contraceptive options.
Different types of birth control without estrogen.
Contraceptives without any hormones.
Birth control methods that are useful to people with religious concerns. [x] [x]
OTHER BENEFITS OF TAKING BIRTH CONTROL:
Taking oral contraceptives can help lower the risk of endometrial and ovarian cancer.
Using birth control helps treat acne.
Birth control can help treat the pain caused by Endomitriosis.
Contraceptives offer relief to people with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS).
Anemia can be avoided/treated by using birth control.
Irregular periods can become more regulated by using birth control.
The pill can lead to fewer ectopic pregnancies.
MYTHS ABOUT BIRTH CONTROL (All the myths below are dispelled through the links given):
Emergency contraceptives and birth control pills cause abortions.
Free contraceptives and/or condoms makes people participate in risky sexual behavior.
The pill makes you gain a lot of weight.
Douching after sex prevents pregnancy.
You have to start your birth control on a Sunday.
Taking the pill for a long time can make you infertile.
Hormonal contraceptives protect you from contracting STIs.
You don’t need to be on birth control while breastfeeding.
I won’t get pregnant my first time having sex.
The Pill is effective immediately after you take it.
I won’t get pregnant if I shower or pee after sex.
My body needs a rest from birth control at least once a year.
Emergency contraceptives are affected by alcohol.

pro-choice-or-no-voice:

To start off Birth Control Appreciation Day, I decided to make an informative masterpost on contraceptives! I hope this helps anyone who may want more information on their birth control or someone trying to decide what kind of birth control is best for themselves! Happy (birth control) hunting! - Paige

DIFFERENT TYPES OF BIRTH CONTROL:
  • Birth Control Pills - [x] [x]
  • Mini Pill (Progesterone-only Pill) -  [x]
  • The Patch (Ortho Evra) - [x] [x]
  • The Shot (Depo-Provera) - [x] [x]
  • Birth Control Sponge - [x] [x]
  • Vaginal Ring (Nuva Ring) - [x] [x]
  • Spermicide - [x] [x]
  • Implant (Implanon and Nexplanon) - [x] [x]
  • IUDs (Mirena, Skyla, and ParaGard) - [x] [x]
  • Condoms (Male and Female) - [x]
  • Withdrawal (Pullout Method) - [x] [x]
  • Diaphragm - [x] [x]
  • Breastfeeding - [x]
  • Cervical Cap - [x] [x]
  • Sterilization (Male and Female) - [x]
  • Abstinence - [x] [x]
  • Fertility Awareness-Based Methods (FAMs) - [x] [x]
COMMON QUESTIONS ABOUT BIRTH CONTROL:
EMERGENCY CONTRACEPTIVES:
OPTIONS FOR PEOPLE WITH ALLERGIES AND/OR CERTAIN 
PREFERENCES
:
OTHER BENEFITS OF TAKING BIRTH CONTROL:
MYTHS ABOUT BIRTH CONTROL (All the myths below are dispelled 
through the links given):

(via creepykuroneko)